Chris: Old men are rather cunning. Hence my concern.
Chris: But would you agree that I, too, am cunning?
Me: I would agree to that, yes.
Chris: So who’s to say I haven’t already rigged the entire locker room with spider-filled balloons?
Me: Spider-filled balloons. I’ve never heard of such a thing.
Chris: It’s rather simple. You take many spiders and put them inside a balloon, which is then inflated.
Chris: Then, when the old men inadvertently pop the balloon through static electricity or their hardened, yellow fingernails, they are automatically showered with deadly spiders. It’s the perfect plan.
Chris: So, as you can see, I’d clearly overcome any attempt of Geriatric Rape in the locker room.