Sometimes, funny happens.

An archive of photos, drawings and random conversations between myself and one of my co-workers.

Goodnight, Chicago!

  • Me: "We are Coronal Mass Ejection, thank you! Goodnight!"
  • Chris: I hear they're the opening act for The EMP.
  • Me: At least for the Solpalooza dates through September.
  • Chris: After that, it's Corona and the Photospheres.

FICCLAW!

  • Chris: Let's start a storm chasing team. Fast Interdiction Cyclone Chasers Learning About Weather.
  • Me: FICCLAW!
  • Chris: Because we're new at this, let's start slow. Perhaps a gentle spring rain?"
  • Me: "WHAT WE'RE EXPERIENCING RIGHT NOW COULD ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS ... QUITE PLEASANT!"
  • Chris: "Gusts are up around 15mph! DEPLOY, DEPLOY, DEPLOY!!!"
  • Me: "Looks like another light band is about to come down on us, let's get out of here!"'
  • Chris: "It's coming this way! Close the door!" "Steve!!" "It's too late, we have to leave him!" *Steve face creases in terror as his hair blows slightly."'
  • Me: "Guys I forgot my rain jacket! Guys! Oh goooooodddddd!"
  • Chris: *the rest of the team closes their eyes and look away as fresh grass clippings cover Steve.*
  • Me: "Steve knew the risks. We put our lives on the line everyday when we suit up. Let's pack up, someone call Steve's wife."
  • Chris: "No! That was his new button-down. He was supposed to keep it clean for dinner at the neighbors' tomorrow!"
  • Me: *later at the hospital, a heart monitor beeps softly* "Sweetie I'm so *cough* sorry. I *cough* thought I'd never see you again. What'd the doc say?"
  • Chris: "You got a small bit of grass in your eye. They're going to have to...FLUSH YOUR EYE!!" *entire family sobs*
  • Me: "I want you all to know that I *cough* love you very much. If this goes bad, don't feel sorry for me, I knew what I was doing. Well, kind of."

Magic Hadfield.

  • Chris: Can you imagine how chummy it is up there with Chris Hadfield in charge? We send these people up there to work, not screw around.
  • Me: I know, judging by his photos he brought a whole chest of costumes and props up there to play with. He's probably practicing magic tricks this very moment.
  • Chris: Dangit, Hadfield, you're supposed to be doing science, not practicing card tricks and obsessing over Mel Torme.
  • Me: Ok, ok, one more. Issss THIS your card?! *Ace of Spades playing card floats in from another hatch*
  • Chris: Russian crewmate: "Is magic!"'

Coming this fall.

  • Me: Your favorite astronaut? Go.
  • Chris: John Young. He's been on six missions, and ate an illegal samwidge in space! Yours? Successful missions only.
  • Me: Aww, John was going to be my pick. I'm still a staunch Lovell supporter, though.
  • Chris: A real man would have gone back to the Moon to exact revenge.
  • Me: It'd be funny if after having piloted 4 different types of spacecraft, it turned out Young was an abysmal driver of the modern automobile.
  • Chris: He probably just sits in the car for hours, filling his diaper while waiting for it to take off.
  • Me: "John? What are doing sitting here?" "Ahem, uhh, uh!" *starts engine, speeds off and crashes into nearby fruit stand*
  • Chris: AAAH, MISSAH YOUNG, YOU CLASH INTO MY FLUTE STAND AGIIIIN?!?"'
  • Chris: *Young turns to the camera and shrugs comically *CUT TO TAG, YOUNG ON STAGE IN COMEDY CLUB"
  • Me: "Yall have been a great audience, I'm John Young, goodnight!" *rides off-stage in replica lunar rover*
  • Chris: Executive Producer: DONALD BELLISARIO

Scarf, neckwear, man's.

  • Me: I actually broke out my "cap, knit, watch" and "scarf, neckwear, man's" this morning.
  • Chris: Did you carefully drape your scarf across your shoulders, like a fruit?
  • Me: No! It kept my jugular warm.
  • Chris: You realize your blood is 98 degrees?
  • Me: But the outside temp was c-c-cold.
  • Chris: It's true. I'm sure the scarf kept you warm during your long walk to work!
  • Me: I'm gonna need you to cease this war on my scarf.

Foreign relations on the International Space Station

  • Chris: Apparently the Russians stick to their side of the ISS.
  • Me: I think I'd bring a small replica ICBM and jokingly float it into the Russian side for laughs.
  • Chris: I would bring a bunch of toilet paper and just float it down the hatch at 'em.
  • Me: Or confetti.
  • Chris: Or copies of Rock IV.

Survivorman: Space

  • Chris: They should send Survivorman to the moon!
  • Me: *Intro* Open on a suitless Les
  • Les Dies.
  • Chris: *His trusty harmonica clutched in his gnarled, desiccated hand*

Real men don't wear diapers

  • Chris: Fact: Jim Lovell has worn adult diapers!
  • Me: So!
  • Chris: Well, that makes him a titty-baby.
  • Me: Neil (Armstrong) wore 'em too!
  • Chris: No, Neil and Buzz allowed the reeking amber globules to float around the cabin. Like men.

Put on a brave face.

  • Chris: Maybe I'll get you a sandwich for Christmas. A knuckle one.
  • Me: Maybe I'll pay a homeless guy to come stick his finger in your mouth.
  • Chris: Maybe I'll pay Jim Lovell to come over and put on a brave face.
  • Me: That's fine, I'll take him out and get him roaring drunk.
  • Chris: And when the moon rises, he'll scream "YOU STINKING SON OF A BITCH!" and throw bottles at it.

Plane-Hole 2011

  • Chris: Have you been following Plane-Hole '11?
  • Me: The SWA flight? Yeah, it was a big ole' hole!
  • Chris: Do you think the captain made a joke? "Folks, it's a nice day, so we put the top down. Enjoy the flight."
  • Me: Probably. It's Southwest Airlines.